and Why They Matter So Much More Than We Realise

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what we know. Not just the knowledge we have. but the strange layers and blind spots that exist around how we understand ourselves and others.

It’s something that’s come up in coaching sessions, in team retrospectives, even just watching people I admire operate with clarity. I learned many years ago that there are four core states of knowing that we all cycle through, and understanding them doesn’t just help us grow as individuals, it helps us lead others better too.

Here’s the breakdown:

1. I don’t know what I don’t know

This is probably the most frustrating of all the states.

It’s that place where you feel lost, directionless, maybe even a bit stupid (though you’re not). You don’t even know where to begin — and that’s the problem. You don’t have a framework, a guide, or a clear sense of what’s missing.

I’ve been here more times than I can count.

So how do you move forward?

• You get curious, aggressively curious.
  
• You start asking a hundred “dumb” questions (spoiler: none of them are dumb).
  
• You start drawing pictures, building diagrams, mind-mapping your thoughts just to see where the holes are.
  
• And most importantly: you accept that you don’t need to know everything right now.
  

This is the state that scares a lot of people. But if you stay here with intention, you’ll start uncovering the gold.

2. I know what I don’t know

Now this is a much better place.

Suddenly, you’ve got perspective. You know what’s missing. You can see the gaps — and maybe even feel excited about closing them.

But here’s a trap I’ve fallen into: not every knowledge gap needs filling.

Let me explain.

As a Scrum Master, I work with engineers daily. They use tools I’ll never need to master. Sometimes I’ll catch myself thinking: “I should probably learn this tool, or understand that codebase.”

But the truth is, it’s not necessary. That’s their expertise. My job is to help facilitate flow, communication, and delivery. If I spend all my time trying to master their world, I lose sight of my own.

Same goes for the toilet analogy (yep, I’m going there): I don’t need to understand the water pressure dynamics or plumbing schematics to use it. I just need it to work.

So the challenge here isn’t just about learning, it’s about choosing what not to learn, and having the maturity to be okay with that.

3. I know what I know

This one sounds simple but it’s not.

We all have knowledge, experience, and skills. But the real question is: Are we using them? Sharing them? Challenging them?

I’ve realised that so much of my value comes from showing up and sharing. Coaching, teaching, answering questions — and being okay with people pushing back, asking more, challenging my assumptions.

That’s where growth lives.

Every time I teach something, I learn something new. Every time someone challenges what I thought I knew, I sharpen that knowledge.

So this state is powerful but only if you’re willing to step into it, publicly and humbly.

4. I don’t know what I know

This is where the magic happens.

It’s that moment in a meeting when someone raises a complex issue, and somehow you just get it. You explain something that surprises even you. You simplify a complicated idea without even thinking. You connect dots that no one else saw.

And you’re sitting there going: “Wait, where did that come from?”

That’s your deep, intuitive knowledge kicking in. It’s the years of experience, observation, learning, failing, leading bubbling to the surface when you need it most.

These are the moments to cherish. They’re a reminder that you’re growing, even when it doesn’t feel like it. That you do have value, wisdom, insight, sometimes more than you give yourself credit for.

Why this matters in leadership

Now imagine being able to understand this not just in yourself, but in your team.

What if you could tell:

• Who’s stuck in “I don’t know what I don’t know”?
• Who’s ready to learn something new but isn’t sure how?
• Who has knowledge they’re too shy to share?
• Who needs help unlocking the brilliance they don’t even realise they have?
  

As leaders, coaches, teammates this is the work.

It’s not just about helping people get more done. It’s about helping them understand where they are in their journey of knowing and guiding them forward with empathy and intention.

Sometimes that means pairing someone with a known expert.
Sometimes it means drawing out the quiet ones in a team meeting.
Sometimes it just means telling someone, “Hey, remember when you said this last week? That was brilliant. Do more of that.”

Let’s talk

So here’s my question to you:

• Which of these states are you sitting in right now?
• Where do you see your team sitting?
• And what could change if we started understanding and respecting where people really are instead of where we think they should be?

We’re all smarter than we think, sometimes we just need the right moment to prove it.

Want to explore how the 4 States of Knowing could transform your team’s clarity and growth?
Reach out at info@horizondew.co.za even if it’s just to share your thoughts.

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